The Dictar » Terry’s Posts

You Work at a Bikini Car Wash

[ 1 Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.07.07 under Summer, Terry's Posts

I hope these girls are using environmentally safe soaps, chemicals and car care products, Because you work with them and if i get my car washed here i dont want that shit to corrode my dash. Have you ever had a bad day at work? Are the benefits decent?

you are late for work boy. You work at a bikini car wash

She works with you part time, remember? Her name is Hotbikiniwasheraloha

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

Liaison to the Sea

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.04.07 under Terry's Posts, Underwater Adventure

He has fluffy white hair, 1950’s scuba gear and an unrivaled ambition to explore the realm of sharks. He probably sat on the back seat of the bus every day in grade school, he is pretty awesome all together. His name is Mike DeGruy by the way- our liaison to the sea.

Hopefully you all got a chance to see this Shark guru on shark week.

Check out this interview in Fathom Magazines sold out premier issue from the summer of 2001 with Mike Degruy . (no wonder the issue is sold out)

http://www.fathomspub.com/cgi/interview.pl/1

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

The Illusory life of Sherb FlanWeimple The Illusionist

[ 1 Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.03.07 under Illusions, Terry's Posts

The self-proclaimed illusionist who set his life course to the study of illusions, is somewhat of an illusion himself. When confronting an illusion, sensory perception is in some way distorted. Each of the human senses can be deceived by illusions and everyone can experience an illusion differently; but the sudden disappearance of Sherb FlanWeimple some 4 months ago begs the question…Has The Illusionist himself fallen to the depths of his own illusion?

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

WTF?

[ 3 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.02.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts

What the fuck is going on here? what is she drinking? They probably chose to not show her face because she has a big marlboro red spearing a piece of sushi hanging out of her mouth. unlucky baby.

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

The Rat

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.02.07 under Terry's Posts, sports

Gary Gaetti’s 19 year career in mlb presented him the opportunity to be grandfathered into the elite class of players eligible to wear the flapless helmet, an option he never hesitated to excercise throughout the twilight years of his career. He was the last of the no-flap helmet players to go, and for this alone he truly made his time in the big leagues worth while.

Dont hesitate to take a closer look at one of the most remarkable people of all time

http://www.garygaetti.com/

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

Red Dog aint doggin it

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.31.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts

shit, if Red Dog could pull through here….

When i hit up The Fire Side Inn up in Poysippi this past weekend for some Kreekside Karaoke I came across a giant inflatable Red Dog can sittin pretty on the roof. Turns out, the can was from polka ladies night back in ‘93, and its been up there ever since the bars owner got his leg amputated after a lawnmower race accident down at Wautomas county fair of the same year. but it got me thinkin. I dont think any amputation goes without cause, and maybe Plank Road wanted that can to stand tall for 15 years to let us all know they havent forgot about americas favorite brew DOG. Next time you go out drinking this morning, ask the bartender for a Red Dog and lets get our honeymoon back on track.

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

The Left Lane

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.30.07 under Nascar, Terry's Posts, Women Drivers

Fact1: women are bad drivers

Fact2: women on cell phones while driving are terrible drivers

Fact3: Road rage frequently is caused because some women decided to get in her car and take it somewhere, and while on the highway she decided to get all the way over into the left lane, dial one of her friends, slow down to 5 mph under the speed limit and get more involved in the uselessness of her life over the phone than to what is happening right in front of her.Meanwhile, behind her, several important male drivers, all with far more significant destinations, are forced to have to drive within close proximity to one another at slow speeds while being held hostage to the left lane floozy. In the event that a male driver is not presented with an escape passage, that being the left lane, we are forced to present ourselves to other male drivers within the same predicament that in a way causes many of us to have to pull over and confront one another and typically beat the shit out of eachother.

Therefore1, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only. On any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for males

To continue

Fact4: Drinking beer or other alcoholic beverages eliminates nervousness and instability and increases confidence, and reality of life.

Fact5: A good driver needs to be calm and stable, needs to be confident and be aware of what is real in life.

Therefore2, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only who have consumed no less than 6- 12oz. beers* over the last 2 hours. On any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for males who have recently consumed a minimum of 72 oz. of beer* over the last 60 minutes.

*- or alcoholic drinks of equal or greater value

more so..

Fact 6: Nascar is the best demonstration and continuous example of how someone should drive.

Fact 7: Males who have not attended at least 2 nascar events and watched at least 300 hours of live nascar on tv are considered to have the equivalent capability to drive as any women… in most cases a women operating a cell phone and car at the same time.

Fact 8: Men are not allowed to display any support for Nascar or America for that matter, such as Nascar bumber stickers, antenna ornaments, Driver flags/banners, spare tire jackets or anything displaying our stars and stripes, both of present and historic circumstances, if they have never attended at least 2 nascar events and watched at least 300 hours of live nascar racing on tv.

Therefore3, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only who have consumed no less than 6- 12oz. beers* over the last 2 hours who meet the minimum instruction of proper driving techniques as stated above by displaying at least 4 items of Nascar paraphernalia on the external surface of the vehicle as an indication that such individual has met this minimum requirement of exposure to safe and proper driving techniques, hereto referred as “safe driver references”

For the convenience of future discussions we shall establish in more simpler dialogue that on any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for “intoxicated male nascar fans.”

In this picture, a women somehow got her car onto the track and then pulled into the left lane and got on her cell phone, causing this accident with Dale J. She then disappeared from the scene which is typically the case.

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

The Pit Boss that deserves to live in Gary

[ 1 Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.27.07 under Gary River Boats, Terry's Posts

I was at the Resorts Casino the other weekend and the pit boss cut me off for what i think was an intimidating look from me in his direction after i had spent the day visiting my favorite bars and pubs in downtown Calumet City. Once your cut off in a river boat casino (and im strictly talking Northwest Indiana River boats here) you have about a .01% chance of being reinstated in the next 12 hours and at the same time, the friendly Indiana cocktail waitresses turn on you. “Hey I just want a water, ” I yell to Deb as i try to grab her ass and fall halfway off my stool at the same time, not because i cant handle my booze but everything seems to pull away from you when you are cut off on a riverboat in Gary. She cocks her head halfway back around as she shakes her flabby ass down the corridor of tables, gives me the glazed stare…but she did come back with my water about 4 days later. I exchange words with this pit boss Dave for the next 3 hours off and on and now security is trying to accuse me of things i have clearly not done. I manage to sweet talk my way out of these skirmishes every hour or so, but Dave keeps sending back in more troops and trying to get me out of there for all its worth.This pit boss has a jealousy factor on me and in turn has it in for me. He clearly belongs to be pitting a boat in close proximity to Gary. I take a few hundred from a low limit black jack table and move to another low limit black jack table so i can position myself right in front of the computer Dave is entering frequent flier miles into. When you start to get tired because your booze feed has been taken away but you cant quite fight off the itch to gamble, the composure that holds back the hostility for the assbaged pit boss diminishes and its time to heckle. “Dave, you get that tie in Gary’s giftshop at the end of one of those trolly tours?” Daves from Gary I have a feeling at this point, if not for it being printed right below his name on his tag connected to his $75 suit. But its not the booze speaking, because everyone else in the room is having a love affair with my me, but i cant seem to come around on Dave. Its a classic match of “he started it”, and im up against Dave and his useless arsenal of security call-ins, booze cut-offs and comedic threats. I have the upper hand in the fight to stay because the casino has the ultimate say and they want my money- but when it comes down to being undeservedly cut-off in a gary river boat casino because a singular pit boss has some reservations about you for undisclosed reasons, it may not be objective and fair to you, but sometimes its best to just brush it off and acknowledge to yourself…this man will drive his corsica home tonight somewhere in the suburbs of Gary. ~ Terry

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

Terry Klytar

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.27.07 under Newports, Terry's Posts

I smoke mostly Newports, but also Kools, Gencos, Pall Malls, Broncos, Pinsons, Pilots, Silver Eagles, Smokin’ Joes Premiums, Tourney Slims, Wintergolds, 305’s, Blackjacks, Brentwoods, Camel Wides, Competidoras, Value-prides and ultra-buys from time to time.

Heres my portrait Tawny did of me up in Tuscon. Tawny cant draw worth shit.