The Dictar » Drinking

This is an Ass Sip. Ass Sips Dont Get Songs

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 11.30.07 under Drinking, Music, Terry's Posts

99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer
take one down and pass it around
but you didnt go to Container Store to build your custom shelving so as you carefully removed the “99th” bottle of beer, the weakly bracketed wood shelving collapsed and with it came all 98 remaining bottles of beer that were on such wall, leaving you with one rather aggressively sought after bottle of beer in your hand.

one bottle of aggressively sought after beer in your hand, aggressively sought after beer
take a sip, put in a dip
11- 1 ounce sips of beer left in your hand

11-1 ounce sips of beer in your hand, 11 sips of beer
take a sip, do a back flip
10-1 ounce sips of beer in your hand.

10-1 ounce guzzles of beer in your hand, 10 guzzles of beer
have her put on a muzzle, do a 3-D puzzle
9-1 ounce guzzles of beer in your hand.

9-1 ounce swigs of beer in your hand, 9 swigs of beer
book a gig, pull the trig,
8-1 ounce swigs of beer in your hand

8-1 ounce chugs of beer in your hand, 8 chugs of beer
smoke a nug, take a chug
7-1 ounce chugs of beer in your hand

7-1 ounce “trys” of beer in your hand, 7 “trys” of beer
I cant deny it, i want to “try” it
6-1 ounce “trys” of beer in your hand

6-1 ounce throw backs of beer in your hand, 6 throw backs of beer,
blow jobs in cadillacs, thumb tacks and ball sacks
5-1 ounce throwbacks of beer in your hand

5-1 ounce titty-o-ramas of beer in your hand, 5- titty-o-ramas of beer,
gram ‘em and get giddy my what nice titty, in my pajama im looking to slamma
4-1 ounce titty-o-ramas of beer in your hand

4-1 ounce enlarged vagina protrusions of beer in your hand, 4 EVP’s of beer
pardon the intrusion, im drunk with confusion
3-1 ounce enlarged vagina protrusions of beer in your hand

3-1 ounce “did she have the cap on when she shoved my beer with 3 ounces left up her twat” of beer in your hand, 3 twat covered ounces of beer
dont be a wussy, put your face in her pussy, theres beer in dem bots so call in the swat
2-1 ounce “did she have the cap on when she shoved my beer with 3 ounces left up her twat” of beer in your hand

2-1 ounce im drunk and want nachos and how did this bottle become a can and lets drive to vegas and pick up a bunch of drugs and prostitutes of beer in your hand, 2 Vegas nacho drunk and druggie prositutes of beer
snort it, contort it, play with your blubber and open that rubber
1-1 ounce im drunk and want nachos and how did this bottle become a can and lets drive to vegas and pick up a bunch of drugs and prostitutes of beer in your hand

1-1 ounce this is an ass sip. ass sips dont get songs.

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Malibu’s Most Wanted

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.16.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts, sports

Long time friend of mine Malibu recently had a little run in with a pair of size 11 and 1/2’s straight to the stomach. He failed to mention that those drinks he was putting down during his recovery process were High Life Lites, Malibu was always a HLL guy. In case any of you were trying to get a hold of me last night on my pager, i was over in Gary eating a steak at the river boat and playing some video keno.

My friend was drinking some Mai Tais down at Universal Studios Hollywood and sent me back a copy of Malibus incident.

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WTF?

[ 3 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.02.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts

What the fuck is going on here? what is she drinking? They probably chose to not show her face because she has a big marlboro red spearing a piece of sushi hanging out of her mouth. unlucky baby.

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Red Dog aint doggin it

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.31.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts

shit, if Red Dog could pull through here….

When i hit up The Fire Side Inn up in Poysippi this past weekend for some Kreekside Karaoke I came across a giant inflatable Red Dog can sittin pretty on the roof. Turns out, the can was from polka ladies night back in ‘93, and its been up there ever since the bars owner got his leg amputated after a lawnmower race accident down at Wautomas county fair of the same year. but it got me thinkin. I dont think any amputation goes without cause, and maybe Plank Road wanted that can to stand tall for 15 years to let us all know they havent forgot about americas favorite brew DOG. Next time you go out drinking this morning, ask the bartender for a Red Dog and lets get our honeymoon back on track.

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