The Dictar » Dicky’s Posts

McGruff The Crime Dawg

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.21.07 under Anti-Drugs, Competition, Dicky's Posts

Armed with a passion to fight drugs, McGruff the Crime Dawg also does what it takes to win in any competition.

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Everybody Must Not Get STONED

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.16.07 under Anti-Drugs, Dicky's Posts, Worthy Causes

That’s what it should of said in Rainy Day Woman #4859. For the most part everyone knows I have been an anti-marijuana crusader for the past 10 years. I serve on several non-profit boards dedicated to this cause including the Anti-Marijuana Coalition, REDAWPRO(Retired DEA Officers Still For Marijuana Prohibition), Parents For Control and many more. I also am one of the only male members of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). It doesn’t have to do with Marijuana, but you get my passion. I want to take the time to evaluate several case studies that show the negative effects of Marijuana and what it can do to many fine individuals. We just can’t let everybody run around STONED.

Case Study # 1: Tad

Tad was on the road with Panic for too many years. He traveled to Spokane, Washington to live with his friend “Goat”. He plays bongos. He is STONED.

Case study #2: Gunner

That is Gunner on the right. He was a regular guy who played World of Warcraft and ate Doritos. He then started smoking Marijuana and playing World of Warcraft at the same time. He grew out dreadlocks and and started to eat more
Doritos (Nacho Cheesier, Duh) while he played World of Warcraft and smoked Marijuana. He is now in jail. He was STONED.

Case Study #3: Shadow

Shadow once lived in a Redwood tree for 2 years to protest loggers. She dated a guy named Whisper who taught her about Mother Earth. She is STONED.

Case Study # 4: Clayton

Clayton went to University of Arizona for a year before dropping out. He entered the Rave Culture, was a juggler at a circus and attempted to bomb a Frito-Lay Factory for not putting enough “Chili Cheese Freeze” as he called it into a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos he bought one night after being STONED.

Case Study #5: Cookie Jar Billy

Cookie Jar Billy parents don’t know how. But he breaks in the cookie jar. In the above picture it was pasta. It’s the result of him being STONED.

Case Study #6: Bundy

Ironically enough, the above picture was not taken in 76′. Bundy likes to smoke marijuana with his wife Denise, dress up retro, take a picture with a Polaroid and Photoshop it(while still stoned) to make it look old. This is all a result of him being STONED.

Case Study#7: Blair

Ahhh, Blair. Blair pretends he is a college Philosophy Professor and seduces woman. He does this while he is STONED.

Case study #8: Greg

Poor Greg. He is a Deadhead. He knows all the tunes. He went to a carnival wearing his Grateful Dead shirt. An older boy came up to him and asked what album “Ship of Fools” was on. Greg nervously responded “Terrapin Station.” “Wrong” said the other boy. “Its on Mars Hotel you poser.” Greg knew the the answer. He just couldn’t think of it because he was too STONED.

I hope I create a compelling case for ongoing prohibition of Marijuana. We really need to keep individuals like the person in the following video in check.

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Troy, the Last Frontier

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.10.07 under Dicky's Posts, History

Troy. It is a place that men and women have fantasized about for thousands of years. Does it exist? This isn’t about some city buried underground or a lost island that got soaked under the sea. This is no Atlantis. This is about a town that got invaded. A princess stolen. A warrior’s ankle pierced. Do you side with the Greeks or the Trojans?

I mean, this place had real weapons. They fought with pride. It is no wonder modern day Troy is now in Turkey. But is it? The above map indicates it could be somewhere in Maine. If true, this would throw off thousands of years of debate and ruin the premise of the motion picture blockbuster “Troy” featuring Brad Pitt and of course that hunk, Orlando Bloom :). If Troy was indeed located in Maine, the Greeks would of had a journey thousands of miles longer than the journey inaccurately written in the books. If so, I can’t imagine the types of scurry, fatigue, low morale that occured on the boat rides over here. It is amazing that after 3 days of battle they had the brain power to think of the horse. The more striking realization about this discovery is the fact that Orlando Bloom should of been played by Russell Means, the great AIM leader. If our history leaders had any idea the Trojans were indeed Native American, we could all count on a great Discovery Channel Episode.

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I Guess it is Bikini Day on The Dictar

[ 1 Comment ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.07.07 under Dicky's Posts, Summer

I couldn’t help trying to one up Terry’s provocative Car Wash Bikini post earlier today. I would like to take the focus off Girls at Bikini Car washes and put the focus on Girls in Bikini’s with Power Tools. There is nothing like Hammer Action Control and Adjustable Depth-Stop. There is nothing like a 240 volt Belt Sander with an Efficient 150mm Drum. Something like this is perfect for domestic or professional joinery. How about a sliding trigger operation? Those Heavy Duty Breakers are ideal for ballast packing!

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Daft Punk and Dicky

[ Post Comment ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.01.07 under Dicky's Posts, Music

I was talking to a fellow in the community named Tnert about Daft Punk. He recently saw them last night at Red Rocks. I will be observing this psycho babble this friday night.

DICKY IS GOING TO GET CRAY CRAY, I CAN TELL YOU THAT MUCH.

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Cruel Treatment

[ 1 Comment ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 07.30.07 under Dicky's Posts, Pigeons

So I came across some very disturbing news today. It seems the Hollywood elite feel they have the right to to tell Pigeons they can’t have babies.

Link: Hollywood Pigeons to be Put on the Pill

They have developed a birth control pill designed for Pigeons and are going to put it in bird food in new rooftop feeders. They say they can’t handle all the pigeon poop. Well then ya know what? Do what I did and take a bath in pigeon shit. That way, whenever you get shat on, you will feel you are being cleansed. Thanks to Spud for the news tip.

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Circuit Training

[ 3 Comments ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 07.28.07 under Dicky's Posts, Physical Fitness

When you are have been in the field for a while your mind starts to run. For me, the field it is a time to reflect. Even though the sole purpose of field research is to bring back data and present it to the public, I have selfish motives involved as well. Just because I am dedicating 3 months in the field to the study of a fantastic beast doesn’t mean this time doesn’t involve self-reflection. Lets just lay it out there, one of my hobbies is Circuit Training. I love being able to combine strength workouts with endurance exercises. It gets lonely out in the field and not having a new station to rotate to after 45 seconds can be a downer. I end up doing squat thrusts using a tree trunk as my base and when it is time for me to move to my next station I notice the closest thing that resembles exercise equipment is light brush that could potentially be used to pump out some sit-ups. What I am trying to get at is that I also use field research to reflect on the things I truly miss. Its not all about the pigeons. When I am out there, I realize I NEED circuit training. I took this picture of Barabra, Deb and Brian about 2 months ago and I always bring it with me in the field.

It is probably a bad idea to bring it since I start to miss my gym more, but these guys push things to the complete limit. I know Deb got her start with Circuit Training at Curves for women. Curves has a great Circuit Training program but people who come out of there think they live on a higher plane. Not sure why. Their Circuit Training Programs are the standard 30 seconds per station and are designed to firm, tone and help lose weight just like all other programs. I know Ballys has some great programs across the country but most of their equipment is generic. The thing I like about circuit training is that it is structured to provide a full body workout. I can tone my glutes, buttocks and strive for some rock hard abs. Don’t get any ideas!