The Dictar » 2007 » August

Everybody Must Not Get STONED

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.16.07 under Anti-Drugs, Dicky's Posts, Worthy Causes

That’s what it should of said in Rainy Day Woman #4859. For the most part everyone knows I have been an anti-marijuana crusader for the past 10 years. I serve on several non-profit boards dedicated to this cause including the Anti-Marijuana Coalition, REDAWPRO(Retired DEA Officers Still For Marijuana Prohibition), Parents For Control and many more. I also am one of the only male members of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). It doesn’t have to do with Marijuana, but you get my passion. I want to take the time to evaluate several case studies that show the negative effects of Marijuana and what it can do to many fine individuals. We just can’t let everybody run around STONED.

Case Study # 1: Tad

Tad was on the road with Panic for too many years. He traveled to Spokane, Washington to live with his friend “Goat”. He plays bongos. He is STONED.

Case study #2: Gunner

That is Gunner on the right. He was a regular guy who played World of Warcraft and ate Doritos. He then started smoking Marijuana and playing World of Warcraft at the same time. He grew out dreadlocks and and started to eat more
Doritos (Nacho Cheesier, Duh) while he played World of Warcraft and smoked Marijuana. He is now in jail. He was STONED.

Case Study #3: Shadow

Shadow once lived in a Redwood tree for 2 years to protest loggers. She dated a guy named Whisper who taught her about Mother Earth. She is STONED.

Case Study # 4: Clayton

Clayton went to University of Arizona for a year before dropping out. He entered the Rave Culture, was a juggler at a circus and attempted to bomb a Frito-Lay Factory for not putting enough “Chili Cheese Freeze” as he called it into a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos he bought one night after being STONED.

Case Study #5: Cookie Jar Billy

Cookie Jar Billy parents don’t know how. But he breaks in the cookie jar. In the above picture it was pasta. It’s the result of him being STONED.

Case Study #6: Bundy

Ironically enough, the above picture was not taken in 76′. Bundy likes to smoke marijuana with his wife Denise, dress up retro, take a picture with a Polaroid and Photoshop it(while still stoned) to make it look old. This is all a result of him being STONED.

Case Study#7: Blair

Ahhh, Blair. Blair pretends he is a college Philosophy Professor and seduces woman. He does this while he is STONED.

Case study #8: Greg

Poor Greg. He is a Deadhead. He knows all the tunes. He went to a carnival wearing his Grateful Dead shirt. An older boy came up to him and asked what album “Ship of Fools” was on. Greg nervously responded “Terrapin Station.” “Wrong” said the other boy. “Its on Mars Hotel you poser.” Greg knew the the answer. He just couldn’t think of it because he was too STONED.

I hope I create a compelling case for ongoing prohibition of Marijuana. We really need to keep individuals like the person in the following video in check.

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Malibu’s Most Wanted

[ 2 Comments ] Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.16.07 under Drinking, Terry's Posts, sports

Long time friend of mine Malibu recently had a little run in with a pair of size 11 and 1/2’s straight to the stomach. He failed to mention that those drinks he was putting down during his recovery process were High Life Lites, Malibu was always a HLL guy. In case any of you were trying to get a hold of me last night on my pager, i was over in Gary eating a steak at the river boat and playing some video keno.