Portillicous

Posted by Terry Klytar on 08.08.07 1:37PM under Physical Fitness, Terry's Posts


FYI Whit, in response to your portillos addiction, yeah i said addiction… When i did some research after my 12 straight days at portillos a few years back, i emailed a portillos exec requesting some general health stats on their beef and cheddar croissant and she replied back hastily explaining that Portillos chooses not to disclose any nutritional information regarding their menu items. I found out later there was a reason for this non-disclosure. I came across some info regarding a massively produced underground chemical, referred to as Portillicous, that all edible items on the portillos menu are soaked in for periods of no less than 12 days. Portillicous is also sprayed on, infused, injected, brushed and transfused- depending on the nature of the food being treated. There is another drug called Arbymosotosis, commonly used to combat addiction to the chemical Portillicous found in certain beef and cheddar products at a well known fast food chain. Even so, Arbymosotosis is said to cause extreme depression and anxiety as a symptom of withdrawal. But even more current evidence has proven that the combination of Arbymosotosis in high doses with Portillicous at high doses produces a “balancing effect,” thus offsetting any adverse effects from either of the drugs. With the 5 beef and Cheddars for $5.95 on the horizon at Arby’s and the summer heat calling all cars to the rapid turnover of the Portillos drive-thru, you should have no problem getting your fix of beef and cheddar all for the better.

Beef and Cheddar Beef Beef and Cheddar Portillicous

Beef and Cheddar Beef Beef and Cheddar

Dig this! | Add to Reddit | Add to Del.icio.us | Add to Stumbleupon

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Whit on 08.08.07 3:59 pm

    Fantastic find, Terry. I once experienced a long bout of Arbymosotosis induced depression. The side effects are terrible; beefy undertones emit from the body, a cheesy goup released from the hair follicles. Bad all around. The only combatant was, as you would have guessed, Portiilcious. I’m glad you’ve spoken up about it so people experiencing Arbymosotosis induced depression know the facts.

  2. Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 08.08.07 4:33 pm

    This is seriously gross.

  3. Posted by Phil on 09.24.07 1:41 pm

    Hello

Post Comments





XHTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

* Required. Your email will never be displayed in public.