The Left Lane

Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.30.07 10:00AM under Nascar, Terry's Posts, Women Drivers

drunknascar.jpg

Fact1: women are bad drivers

Fact2: women on cell phones while driving are terrible drivers

Fact3: Road rage frequently is caused because some women decided to get in her car and take it somewhere, and while on the highway she decided to get all the way over into the left lane, dial one of her friends, slow down to 5 mph under the speed limit and get more involved in the uselessness of her life over the phone than to what is happening right in front of her.Meanwhile, behind her, several important male drivers, all with far more significant destinations, are forced to have to drive within close proximity to one another at slow speeds while being held hostage to the left lane floozy. In the event that a male driver is not presented with an escape passage, that being the left lane, we are forced to present ourselves to other male drivers within the same predicament that in a way causes many of us to have to pull over and confront one another and typically beat the shit out of eachother.

Therefore1, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only. On any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for males

To continue

Fact4: Drinking beer or other alcoholic beverages eliminates nervousness and instability and increases confidence, and reality of life.

Fact5: A good driver needs to be calm and stable, needs to be confident and be aware of what is real in life.

Therefore2, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only who have consumed no less than 6- 12oz. beers* over the last 2 hours. On any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for males who have recently consumed a minimum of 72 oz. of beer* over the last 60 minutes.

*- or alcoholic drinks of equal or greater value

more so..

Fact 6: Nascar is the best demonstration and continuous example of how someone should drive.

Fact 7: Males who have not attended at least 2 nascar events and watched at least 300 hours of live nascar on tv are considered to have the equivalent capability to drive as any women… in most cases a women operating a cell phone and car at the same time.

Fact 8: Men are not allowed to display any support for Nascar or America for that matter, such as Nascar bumber stickers, antenna ornaments, Driver flags/banners, spare tire jackets or anything displaying our stars and stripes, both of present and historic circumstances, if they have never attended at least 2 nascar events and watched at least 300 hours of live nascar racing on tv.

Therefore3, it is in the best interest of people that matter to reserve the left lane for males only who have consumed no less than 6- 12oz. beers* over the last 2 hours who meet the minimum instruction of proper driving techniques as stated above by displaying at least 4 items of Nascar paraphernalia on the external surface of the vehicle as an indication that such individual has met this minimum requirement of exposure to safe and proper driving techniques, hereto referred as “safe driver references”

For the convenience of future discussions we shall establish in more simpler dialogue that on any stretch of road that provides more than one lane in the same heading, the left lane shall be reserved for “intoxicated male nascar fans.”

A women got in the way

In this picture, a women somehow got her car onto the track and then pulled into the left lane and got on her cell phone, causing this accident with Dale J. She then disappeared from the scene which is typically the case.

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Read Comments

  1. Posted by Dicky Relifonic on 07.30.07 1:04 pm

    You promote hatred and bring down women to the level of dogs. It is no wonder you find yourself at Arby’s on saturday nights trying to steal boxes of Arby Sauce.

  2. Posted by Terry Klytar on 07.30.07 1:32 pm

    I promote clowns like you getting off my multiple lane roads. Your the guy that makes traffic backup under overpasses because your too busy trying to get shit on by a pigeon.

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